Criticism is one of those things that most people dislike. If you are one of the few who actually like to be criticized then you may not understand what this article is talking about. Criticism is one of those methods for you to try and help somebody to improve on their skills by telling them what it is they are doing wrong. The problem arises when either you are being rude or the other person perceives you as attacking them.
When that happens it shuts them down for opinions and makes them want to change their behavior even less. An over critical person may face challenges such as a loss of friends or people generally ignore whatever it is they say. The good news for you is that there are ways to give someone constructive criticism without being harsh and mean. It’s called giving kind criticism. Just because you do it correctly doesn’t guarantee that the other person won’t still get offended or feel like they are being attacked, but it helps your chances of getting through to them greatly.
So let’s start with some of the basics. Why do we give out criticism?
- To help someone improve in a certain area or to see their mistakes. Sometimes this is just honest feedback to help the person improve.
- To see a change in the person that we would like. Sometime we want people to be more of a certain way and we take it upon ourselves to correct them when they aren’t.
- We sometimes criticize just to boost our own ego. Have you ever told anyone they need to do something a certain way just because you do? If you answered yes it probably made you feel better.
- To let out or vent frustrations. Sometimes this isn’t even the other person’s fault. It may be the result of us having a bad day or just simply being angry.
- The last one I would like to point out is to hurt someone. We usually do this when we don’t like someone.
Now that you know the reasons why we give out criticism we need to understand that not all reasons are constructive. Some of the reasons above could easily be destructive criticism which any any case is something to avoid. You know it’s destructive if there are no good intentions for the other person behind it.
How Can We Give Out Kind Criticism
Here are some useful tips and advice to give out more kind criticism:
- Don’t bluntly tell the other person they are wrong.
- Try not to bring yourself into it with statements like “I do this” or “my way is better.”
- Talk about the specific action they are doing or something else other than the person you are trying to help.
- Never attack, insult, name call, laugh at, or be mean in any way.
- Offer suggestions for improvement that both of you can agree on.
- Stay positive with your statements.
- Show a sincere concern for the other person’s well being with kind words and a kind approach.
Follow this advice and in no time you will be ready to help whoever it is move forward with themselves and their actions. Good Luck!
Why to criticise only in the first place???