economics jokes

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1) 

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What do two plus two equal?” The mathematician replies “Four.” The interviewer asks “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says “Yes, four, exactly.”

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The accountant says “On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.”

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says “What do you want it to equal?” 

2)

Value of human capital

Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows,

Work
———- = Power
Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time =Money, we have

Work
——— = Knowledge
Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Work
———– = Money
Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the more money you Make.

 

3)

Computer Viruses

INTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS – Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS – Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
POLITICAL THINK TANK ECONOMIST VIRUS – Doesn’t do anything, but you can’t get rid of it until next election.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS – nothing works on your system, but all your diagnostic software says everything is just fine.
MARXIAN ECONOMIST VIRUS – Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
SOVIET ECONOMIST VIRUS – Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.
MAINSTREAM ECONOMIST VIRUS – It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases then in “self-defense.”
CENTRAL BANK ECONOMIST VIRUS – Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.
MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION ECONOMIST VIRUS – Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and sending messages about how the economy is going to get better.
SUPPLY SIDE ECONOMIST VIRUS – Puts your computer to sleep for four years. When your computer wakes up, you’re trillion more dollars in debt.
NEW ECONOMY VIRUS – Also known as the “Tricky Dick Virus.” You can wipe it out, but it always makes a comeback.
ENVIRONMENTAL ECONOMIST VIRUS – Before allowing you to delete any file, it first asks you if you’ve considered the alternatives.

4)

Q: Why did God create economists?

A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.

 

5)

An old joke applied to economists.
One night a policeman saw a macroeconomist looking for something buy a light pole. He asked him is had had lost something there. The economist said, “I lost my keys over in the alley.” The policeman asked him why he was looking by the light pole. The economist responded, “it’s a lot easier to look over here.”

 

6)

TOP 10 REASONS TO STUDY ECONOMICS

1. Economists are armed and dangerous: “Watch out for our invisible hands.” 
2. Economists can supply it on demand. 
3. You can talk about money without every having to make any. 
4. You get to say “trickle down” with a straight face. 
5. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out. 
6. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there. 
7. If you rearrange the letters in “ECONOMICS”, you get “COMIC NOSE”. 
8. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue. 
9. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility. 

10. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.

7)

ECONOMISTS do it at bliss point 
ECONOMISTS do it cyclically 
ECONOMISTS do it in an Edgeworth Box 
ECONOMISTS do it on demand 
ECONOMISTS do it risk-free (in reference to the risk-free interest rate) 
ECONOMISTS do it with a dual 
ECONOMISTS do it with an atomistic competitor 
ECONOMISTS do it with crystal balls 
ECONOMISTS do it with interest 

8)

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.

9)

Economist related joke: Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist. 

10)

A mathematician, a theoretical economist and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn’t really exist) in a closed room with the lights off: 
– The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn’t exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital. 
– The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn’t exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy. 
– The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spend one hour looking for the black cat that doesn’t exits and shouts from inside the room that he has it catched by the neck.” 

By Amit B

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0 Comments
  1. vagragenericaar.org 1 month ago

    Thank you.

    Youseful blog. Good post.

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