EQ stands for Emotional Quotient. It is borrowed from the term “Intelligence Quotient,” and is used interchangeably with “Emotional Intelligence.”


A person with Low EQ:

  • Doesn’t take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames others for them.
  • Can’t put together three word sentences starting with “I feel…”
  • Can’t tell why one feels the way one does, or can’t do it without blaming someone else.
  • Attacks, blames, commands, criticize, interrupt, invalidate, lectures, advises and judges others.
  • Tries to analyze others, for example when they express their feelings.
  • Often begin sentences with “I think you…”
  • Sends “you messages” disguised as “I feel messages” For example, “I feel like you .”
  • Lays guilt trips on others.
  • Withholds information about or lies about feelings. (Emotional dishonesty).
  • Exaggerates or minimizes feelings.
  • Lets things build up, then they blow up, or react strongly to something relatively minor.
  • Lacks integrity and a sense of conscience.
  • Carries grudges; are unforgiving, plays games; is indirect or evasive.
  • Doesn’t tell people where they really stand.
  • Acts out feelings, rather than talking them out.
  • Is insensitive to others feelings.
  • Has no empathy, no compassion.
  • Is rigid, inflexible; needs rules and structure to feel secure.
  • Is not emotionally available; offers little chance of emotional intimacy.
  • Does not consider their own future feelings before acting.
  • Is insecure and defensive and finds it hard to admit mistakes, express remorse, or apologize sincerely.
  • Avoids responsibility by saying things like: “What was I supposed to do? I had no choice!”
  • Holds many distorted and self-destructive beliefs which cause persistent negative emotions
  • May be overly pessimistic; may invalidate others’ joy.
  • Or may be overly optimistic; to the point of being unrealistic and invalidating of others’ legitimate fears.
  • Frequently feels inadequate, disappointed, resentful, bitter or victimized.
  • Locks himself into courses of action against common sense, or jumps ship at the first sight of trouble.
  • Avoids connections with people and seeks substitute relationships with everything from pets and plants to imaginary beings.
  • Rigidly clings to own beliefs because of being too insecure to be open to new facts.
  • Can tell the details of an event, and what they think about it, but can’t tell how they feel about it.
  • Uses intellect to judge and criticize others without realizing feeling superior, judgmental, critical, and without awareness of how one’s actions impact others’ feelings.
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