1) A linguistic teacher in English, he said, “A double negative forms a positive.
In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
2) I didn’t do too well in college. The only class I did well in was psychology. My term paper on dreams was actually published.
Do you read Penthouse? I was the guy named JoJo.
3) How do you manage to cheat and get good grades…
The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.
4) My mom’s a teacher, so she was really strict with me and my brother. She was like, ‘Look, don’t drink and don’t do drugs and don’t sleep around.’ And then, one day it was like she changed her mind about everything.
She said, ‘You’re going to college.’
5) In a survey taken several years ago, all incoming freshman at MIT were asked if they expected to graduate in the top half of their class.
Ninety-seven percent responded that they did.