marketing joke

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1)

A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem.
The software manager says: “I can’t do anything about this – it’s a hardware problem.”
The hardware manager says: “Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself.”
The marketing manager says: “Hey, 75% of it is working – let’s ship it!”

 

2)

The Optimist says:
“The glass is half full.”
The Pessimist says:
“The glass is half empty.”
The Marketing Consultant says:
“Your glass needs re-sizing.”

 

3)

You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room, AND:
1. You go up to her and say: “Hi, I’m great in bed, how about it?” (That’s Direct Marketing)
2. You give your friend a buck. She goes up and says: “Hi, my friend over there is great in bed, how about it?” (That’s Advertising)
3. You somehow get her mobile number. You call and chat her up a while and then say: “Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?” (That’s Tele-Marketing)
4. You recognize her. You walk up to her, refresh her memory and get her to laugh and giggle and then suggest: “Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?” (That’s Customer Relationship Management)
5. You stand straight, you talk soft and smooth, you open the door for the ladies, you smile like a dream, you set an aura around you playing the Mr. Gentleman and then you move up to the girl and say: “Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?” (That’s Hard Selling)
6. SHE comes over and says: “Hi, I hear you’re great in bed, how about it?” (Now THAT is the power of Branding).

 

4)

A retailer was dismayed when a competitor selling the same type of product opened next-door to him, displaying a large sign proclaiming “Best Deals.”

Not long after that, he was horrified to find yet another competitor move in next door, on the other side if his store. It’s large sign was even more disturbing—”Lowest Prices.”

After his initial panic, and concern that he would be driven out of business, he looked for a way to turn the situation to his marketing advantage. Finally, an idea came to him. Next day, he proudly unveiled a new and huge sign over his front door. It read,

“Main Entrance!”

5)

A mother relayed this experience, “I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. I was so surprised to see she was stark naked. As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom! That lady isn’t wearing a seat belt’!”

Marketing moral: See? It’s all in the perspective. How do you look at your marketing problems?

6)

What’s a telemarketer’s favorite song?

Answer my call, maybe

7)

What movie features a marketer stuck on a deserted island?

Web-Cast Away.

 

8)

While sitting at your desk, make clockwise circles with your right foot. While doing this, draw the number “6” in the air with your right hand. What direction is your foot going now? 

Marketing moral: Focus, focus, focus!

 

9)

Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, “Seems like all John and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset I’ve lost 20 pounds.”

“Why don’t you just leave him then?” asked her friend.

“Oh! Not yet.” the first replied, “I’d like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first.”

Marketing moral: Ya gotta have a goal!

 

10)

Why did the marketing couple decide not to get married?

Because they weren’t on the same landing page.

By Amit B

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