1)
I Made No Resolutions For The New Year.
The Habit of Making Plans,
Criticizing, Sanctioning
And Molding My Life
Is Too Much of
A Daily Event For Me
2)
When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking.
3)
You know it’s time for a New Year’s resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, “One at a time, please!”
4)
A man asks his friend for a cigarette. His friend says, “I think you made a New Year resolution to quit smoking.” The man says, ” I am in the process of quitting. Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.” “What’s phase one?” “I’ve quit buying.”
5)
What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve?
I haven’t seen you for a year!
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