A little old lady sits at the cafe counter and orders a hamburger. A huge guy behind the counter bellows, “One burger!”
Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill.
“That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen,” the old lady says.
“Yeah?” says the counterman. “You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts.”
Michael has no talent for cooking. He has trouble with such simple tasks as peeling potatoes or slicing onions, even though he often insists on helping his wife in the kitchen. Once he read a shopping list on which Greta had written, ‘unhusked rice.’ Good lord, ‘he sighed, ‘what a job that’s going to be’.
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. ‘I got a cook book once’, said the first, ‘but I could never do anything with it.’
‘Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?’ asked the second. ‘You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – ‘Take a clean dish and…’
The Top 10 Pickup Lines Used By Chefs:
– “Your eyes are like limpid pools of chicken stock.”
– “I know we’ve just met, but will you marinade me?”
– “Cumin here often?”
– “How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled, or fertilized?”
– “Care to come back to my place and kick it up a notch?”
– “Hey, weren’t you in my ‘Introduction to Melons’ class?”
– “We’ve now simmered for the recommended 25 minutes–time to come to a full boil!”
– “You’re twice as sweet as a creme brulee… and less drippy.”
Rahul and Andy were standing next to a guy with a bandana and a tattooed teardrop and who was holding a knife.
Rahul said, “I don’t want to hang out here.”
Andy looked back with amusement and said, “Don’t judge people by how they look.”
Rahul retorted, “The dude’s got a knife.”
Andy quipped, “Hey, he could be a chef.”
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