1. Why is it that PR professionals call what they do a “practice”?
  2. What’s the difference between publicists and terrorists?
    You can negotiate with terrorists.
  3. PR gal to reporter: Can you ever imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?
  4. One PR person to another: What’s another word for thesaurus?
  5. PR Man in a Balloon
    A PR man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
    He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.” The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”
    “You must be an engineer,” said the PR guy.
    “I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”
    “Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”
    The woman below responded, “You must be in public relations.”
    “I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”
    “Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve all your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.
  6. Q. What’s the difference between a publicist and a pit bull?
    A. Jewelry.
  7. A Reasonable Fee
    A man phones a PR consultant and asks, “How much would you charge for just answering three simple questions?”
    The PR consultant replies, “A thousand dollars.”
    “A thousand dollars!” exclaims the man. “That’s very expensive isn’t it?”
    “It certainly is,” says the PR consultant. “Now, what’s your third question?”
  8. Q:  How do you get a group of PR consultants to smile for a photo?
    A:  Just say, “Retainer fees!”
  9. What’s the difference between a PR consultant and God?
    God doesn’t think he’s a PR consultant!
  10. Q. Why won’t sharks attack PR consultants?
    A. Professional courtesy.
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