Beauregard discovered his wife in the arms of her lover. Mad with rage, he shot her dead. The southern jury brought in a verdict of justifiable homicide.
Just as Beauregard was about to leave the courtroom a free man, the judge stopped him and asked, ‘Why did you shoot your wife instead of her lover?’
‘Suh’, he replied, ‘I decided it was better to shoot a woman once than a different man each week.”
A rep was flying to a sales conference. It was his first experience in an aircraft, so he was a little nervous, but he tried not to let it show. He was very taken with the air hostess, and particularly flattered when she invited him to sit down the back with her. He asked her:
“Do many passengers get airsick?”
“Not many,” she replied. “We usually spot them in advance and give them some sweets to suck.”
“What if that doesn’t work?”
“Oh, maybe we put a blanket over them, or even give them some oxygen.”
“What if it still doesn’t work?”
“Oh, then I bring them down the back to sit with me.”
A salesman for the local paper called on Riley the chemist.
“No way. I’ve been in business forty-one years and never spent a penny on advertising yet.”
“Really? Then you can tell me, what is that handsome building on the top of the hill?”
“That’s St Catherine’s church.”
“Been there long?”
“Over a hundred years.”
“They still ring the bell, don’t they?”
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