EQ stands for Emotional Quotient. It is borrowed from the term “Intelligence Quotient,” and is used interchangeably with “Emotional Intelligence.”
A person with Low EQ:
- Doesn’t take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames others for them.
- Can’t put together three word sentences starting with “I feel…”
- Can’t tell why one feels the way one does, or can’t do it without blaming someone else.
- Attacks, blames, commands, criticize, interrupt, invalidate, lectures, advises and judges others.
- Tries to analyze others, for example when they express their feelings.
- Often begin sentences with “I think you…”
- Sends “you messages” disguised as “I feel messages” For example, “I feel like you .”
- Lays guilt trips on others.
- Withholds information about or lies about feelings. (Emotional dishonesty).
- Exaggerates or minimizes feelings.
- Lets things build up, then they blow up, or react strongly to something relatively minor.
- Lacks integrity and a sense of conscience.
- Carries grudges; are unforgiving, plays games; is indirect or evasive.
- Doesn’t tell people where they really stand.
- Acts out feelings, rather than talking them out.
- Is insensitive to others feelings.
- Has no empathy, no compassion.
- Is rigid, inflexible; needs rules and structure to feel secure.
- Is not emotionally available; offers little chance of emotional intimacy.
- Does not consider their own future feelings before acting.
- Is insecure and defensive and finds it hard to admit mistakes, express remorse, or apologize sincerely.
- Avoids responsibility by saying things like: “What was I supposed to do? I had no choice!”
- Holds many distorted and self-destructive beliefs which cause persistent negative emotions
- May be overly pessimistic; may invalidate others’ joy.
- Or may be overly optimistic; to the point of being unrealistic and invalidating of others’ legitimate fears.
- Frequently feels inadequate, disappointed, resentful, bitter or victimized.
- Locks himself into courses of action against common sense, or jumps ship at the first sight of trouble.
- Avoids connections with people and seeks substitute relationships with everything from pets and plants to imaginary beings.
- Rigidly clings to own beliefs because of being too insecure to be open to new facts.
- Can tell the details of an event, and what they think about it, but can’t tell how they feel about it.
- Uses intellect to judge and criticize others without realizing feeling superior, judgmental, critical, and without awareness of how one’s actions impact others’ feelings.
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