Question Yourself: Should Self-Change Affect Relationships?


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Relationships are the most delicate and crucial things that life would ever make you deal with. True, we are governed by our weird looking brain which compels us to think rationally in all our “senses”. But something that makes us sense stuff so much that it actually numbs our thinking power, overwhelms us so much that we do some of the most irrational deeds. It is none other than…our delicate heart? You think? No, the heart just pumps blood. Yea yea, I know what you’re thinking, where there is brain, there is heart, coordination of brain and heart, blah blah. Those are just metaphors.

Bonds are formed by our emotions towards people, surroundings and of course, ourselves. Love, hatred, ignorance, anger, denial; they are all our feelings. We can’t govern them; we can’t use our mind to direct them in a track. They just…happen, without being thought over. Yes, relations are delicate; but that doesn’t make them weak. Some of the strongest bonds flourish, even after they have undergone challenge after challenge. That is the thing; we just focus on how we feel about a person and do not let anything affect us. Nothing at all.

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Well, at least that’s what we know in theory. Yes, real life doesn’t work theoretically or conventionally. But we have over used non-conventional to such an extent that it has just become as good as theory. Let me put it in a clearer way. These days, when we talk about any relationship; be it friendship, lovers, relatives whatever; what are some of the most common reasons for weakening or breaking of these beautiful relations? “We lost touch”, “She’s a busy person now”, “He has other priorities”, “She has changed”. And honestly, when I hear all these statements, I always go like, “REALLY?” with a huge poker face.

I mean one of the lamest reasons that I could ever come up with to break a bond would be by saying that someone just changed. You might find it awkward, thinking that you liked a person for who he/she was and when they didn’t remain the same, you couldn’t cope with them. But seriously, who doesn’t change? Change is something which is encountered at every stage of a person’s life. Do we give up our life when life throws a challenge on us? Then why do we give up on relations when the change is thrown upon them as a challenge? There’s a Point, right?

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Losing touch, separated by distance, age, time zone; these are like excuses that a school student would give when he/she hasn’t completed a homework assigned. Maintaining relations are what teaches us to gain self-maturity. No other scenario in a human life can be as enriching as binding a good and positive relation with anyone. You can say your bond is genuine when you stop thinking, expecting or analyzing and only feeling it from within.

 – Anwesha Rath

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Poonam Gandhi


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