Love, Mistakes and Regrets


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I believe Love leads to selfishness and self-centerdness. And i was all set to roll on this ride of selfishness and self-centerdness. Many might disagree saying that relationships are about sacrificing for your love and it has got nothing to do with selfishness and self-centerdness. But for me, i take lovers as two body-one soul, the two together representing self, where they care only about their happiness.
Mine was also such ordinary but yet difficult journey.
Vacations had started and I had seriously nothing to do. All day chat and all time throwing tantrum was something that I expertise in. I still remember that day-20 may 2013, my cell’s message tone played which clearly implicated that I had got a message. I just kept my fingers-crossed that the message should be of Aditya (oops I forgot to mention that Aditya at that time was my latest crush. Aditya was a fair, handsome muscular guy with 6 pack abs  I just had all in all one pack i.e. the layer of fat that surrounded my tummy.) Bursting the buble of my thoughts I ran immediately towards my cell =.. check my bbm and there happened to be a friend request that I had got.
Disappointed. Bdw the request was from a guy named Rohit. I did not recall any Rohit but still I accepted the friend request because that’s what bbm is for, adding unkown people and getting to know them. Minutes later I accepted the friend request I could again hear my message tone. Again expecting Aditya’s message I ran like a ninja toward my phone. Disappointment slapped my face hard again. It was a message from Rohit which read – “Hey Babe”
Being a traditional Indian girl with orthodox bringing up of mine, I was totally offended by these kind of texts ( though many are comfortable with it, and even I wouldn’t have mind if it was from ADitya)
I replied “ I don’t like to be baby-ed , call me Sania or else go find some other baby whom you can chat with”
He responded immediately “I am so sorry for baby-ing you 
I did not give him much of liberty while chatting. Somewhere down my heart I knmew the reason for this arrogant behavior of mine. I did not give him much ‘bhav’ as he was average looking. I know judging on the basis of look is very wrong but I had always been a narcissist.
We chatted for hours. At the end of the day I knew that red was his favouriate colour and he loved panipuris, his birthday was on 22nd march and he had a crush on me 
He did not tell me all this but I could analyze these by the conversation that we had.
Days passed chatting and I got used to getting pampered by him. ‘’baccha khana khaya kya ?’’ “padhai hogayi” “thik se nind aayi” were few among the questions he asked very often.. by that time we had become close and so we exchanged numbers. I started liking him. He called immediately and we ctalked for almost 3 hours. My days seemed incomplete without his calls.
His texts like “tu sirf meri hai” and getting irritated when I talked of Aditya clearly showed his part of intrest. We decided to meet at the CCD near my house. I was waiting over there. He entered from behind and put his hand around my waist and stared in my eyes. The stare continued for more than a minute which was finally broken by the manager.
Manager: “please have a seat sir”
Rohit moved me by relaxing his hand on my shoulders and then pulled out the chair for me and let me in.
Rohit : “Oh Jeez, you look ravishing in this red dress”
Me: “Thankyou” I replied blushingly
Rohit: “did you wear this on purpose because I like red ?”
I immediately replied No, though I seriously wore red because it was his favorite.
I suddenly realized he was wearing blue which was my favorite color.
He asked me to close my eyes. I did as he said. He opened his bag took out a bouquet, bent on his knees and said the 3 golden words “I LOVE YOU”
No-No-No, this is not true I exclaimed.. I pinched myself so hard that it actually hurted me, hoping this was a dream. I sprang up from my chair leading to the cold coffee fall on me.
Rohit immediately took tissue papers and tried to clean it.
I brutally pushed his hand and screamed in front of the whole crows” Have you ever seen yourself in the mirror? Just look at you, how can you even think of proposing a girl like me ? Bloody Ass****. While I was leaving I saw his watery eyes.
I reached home a tried to sleep. But I couldn’t.. I sipped in 2 sleeping pills and slept.
Later that day I woke up and realized my mistake . I knew I liked him but all this happened so suddenly that I did not react in the right way..
I searched for my cell as I definitely owed him an apology. I saw 28 missed calls and 1 message received.
I did not bother to check the message and I tried calling him.. it said “the number you are trying to reach is switched off”
I did not have any other means to contact him so I waited for his call. I waited till night but he did not call and his phone still was switched off.
Tears rolled from my eyes, that was the point when I realized that I loved him a lot. I decided to text him and tell him that I love him.
I opened the one unread message. It was from rohit. It read –
“baby .. I mean jaan , I tried to call you but you didn’t pick up. Actually when I was returning home a truck hit me.. and I am lying on the ground. Baby blood is all around me.. I am dying .. save me baby, I want to spend this life with you. I know I don’t deserve you, you deserve better. But baby I don not want to die like this. If I die please don’t cry. Stay happy J and yes please have dinner on time. Date Aditya J I promise I wont be jealous, I will be happy for you..
Baby see even God knows I cannot live without you and so he took my life when you rejected my proposal
Lastly baby just remember one thing “I love you”
My body went cold. I could sense nothing. I was moaning in my living room. I still cry everyday.. I can just ask you for one thing : Realize your true love or else you will surely regret later.
“True Love happens once, what happens the second time is compromise”
“kuch aise hadse bhi hote h zindagi mai mere dost
Insaan bach to jata h magar zinda nahi rehta”

 

AUTHOR – SUNITA SHARMA

 

 

 


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Thakur College
The Thakur College of Science and Commerce is a college in Kandivali in Mumbai of Maharashtra, India running by Thakur Educational Trusts.

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