accountant joke




Four laws of accounting:


  • Trial balances don’t.
  • Working capital doesn’t.
  • Bank reconciliations don’t.
  • Return on investments don’t.


An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor: 
“Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”


A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks: “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.”


A fellow is walking into a hospital and sees two doctors down on their hands and knees in one of the flower beds. He goes over and says, “Can I help? Have you lost something?” “No,” says one of the doctors. “We’re about to do a heart transplant on an accountant and we’re looking for a suitable stone.”


An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.


Old accountants never die. They just lose their balance.


Q: What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? 
A: Go into town and gang-audit someone.


Q: What’s an extroverted accountant? 
A: One who looks at your shoes while he’s/she’s talking to you instead of his/her own.


Q: There are three kinds of accountants in the world. 
A: Those who can count and those who can’t.


Q: What’s a shy and retiring accountant? 
A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that’s why he’s/she’s retiring.


Q: What does an accountant use for birth control? 
A: His/her personality.


Q: Why don’t accountants read novels? 
A: Because the only numbers are page numbers.


Q: What do accountants suffer from that others don’t? 
A: Self-depreciation.


Q: When do accountants laugh out loud? 
A: When someone asks for a raise.


Q: What’s an accountant’s idea of trashing his/her hotel room? 
A: Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.


Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? 
A: When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.

By Amit B


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  1. Valerie 2 years ago

    Various online learning resources describe these strategies in-detail, so
    there’s you should not repeat those here.

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