The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies.
When they get to the movie theatre, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches.
The doctors just sit down, but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down. The doctors get all excited because they think maybe he’s in touch with reality now. So they ask him, “Why did you put the newspaper down first?”
He answers, “So I’d be higher and have a better view.”
Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot.
The horrified nurse said, “Why didn’t you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?”
The lady said, “My phone doesn’t have an eleven.”
Top Ten Things You Dont Want To Hear In Surgery
1 Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?
3 Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!
4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!
5 Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingie
6 Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
7 “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”
8 Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
9 “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, he’s got two of’em
10 What do you mean “You want a divorce?”
(Disclaimer: The information provided here includes information derived from various other websites and we neither endorse nor support the same.)
3 Comments